never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
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say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
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Can you bring me the toilet please
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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