so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
