I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
