My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
