Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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