I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
