tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
