I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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