I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
