they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
