remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize