I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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