I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
