Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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