If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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