New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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