He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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