Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
