We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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