margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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