In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
