I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
