She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
