there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
