He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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