I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have demons in me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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