Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
