It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
