You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
