I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Quick, to the slutcave!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
