Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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