Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
