ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize