it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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