We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
