I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize