I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
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My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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