I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
