Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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