found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
