Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
