You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
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