Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
