Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
