You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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