six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You are the jesus of drinking
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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