why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
