shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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