he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Randomize
