weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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