Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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