today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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