Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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