All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
