I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
