Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
