She announced her abortion via fbk
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
