Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
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