He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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