u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
