My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
