Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
